Archive for July, 2012

OH NO! THE PO-PO!

Some days you just get lucky.

I was driving home from work.  I was tired of having to stop for at least 10 of the 16 lights I have to go through to get to my house.  Normally, it’s not so bad, but yesterday it seemed like I was hitting every one.  By the time I got to Callahan I was just passing Winn Dixie and saw the main light turn green.  I’m thinking, “Stay green, stay green, stay green…” as it turned to yellow…”stay yellow, stay yellow, stay yellow…” and it turned RED right over my head as I blew through it.  I screamed inwardly to myself, “You Stupid Idiot! You just ran a red light!” but didn’t feel too badly about it because I’d done a quick review of the intersection and I was really good to go.

I looked back in my rear view mirror, breathed a sigh of relief, reprimanded myself once more and relaxed.  Then I heard a siren.  Looked back again and darn it all to heck and back, it’s the police!  I wanted to die right there.  I considered trying to outrun him but…CRAP…I own an HHR…get real, Smith.  So I pulled into the church parking lot, and then parked in a shady spot because it’s 95 degrees on my car thermometer and I figured I’d be a while.  Worst part was, I also knew that many people in town would see the whole drama play out and talk about it amongst themselves later.  That’s the one bad thing about small towns where your husband grew up.  Just about everyone knows him and most of them recognize the wife’s car.  You can’t get away with squat.  Don’t even try.  It’s useless.  Believe me, I know.

While the officer was running my tag from his car (and probably waiting to see if I was going to jump out and go postal on him), I reached into my purse and pulled out all the necessary information I knew he’d want.  Squirted my mouth with breath spray…blobbed on some lipstick.  After a few seconds he sidled up to the side of my car and before he could say a word, I blurted, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I can’t believe I did that!”  Then I pretended to bang my repeatedly against the steering wheel with dismay.  I heard him exhale.  “Well, at least you know what you did!” he answered, and then he took my info and glanced at it.  Looked at me through his blue Ocean Wave sunglasses and asked, “You Tim’s wife?” and I chirped “Yes! Yes, I am!” and I craned my neck around to get a good look at his name tag and recognized his name.  You talk about relief!  I thought to myself, “Well, I’m sure I won’t get a ticket, but I’ll probably get a warning.”  The he asked me how Tim’s brother was doing and I felt sure I was in the clear.

 We talked about the family – we talked about the high water in the river (he used to be in Fish and Wildlife) and we laughed about a couple of more things while I babbled madly at him hoping he was in a good mood.  I even mentioned that I had been a driving instructor for AAA for six years through my work.  He looked at me like I was a nut but I kept on babbling.    And sweating.  My sunglasses were sliding down my face, I was so nervous and perspiring.  I’m praying he won’t make me get out of the car.  I had nothing to hide, but those flashing blue lights are scary.  I wanted to ask him to turn them off.  Let’s just look like we’re having a little chat in the church yard, okay?  The whole time I’m thinking of that time in the cemetery in Louisiana when the two cop cars pulled in and surrounded me.  I kept glancing around waiting to see if he had back-up.  At least this time I didn’t have a beer in the car, LOL.

 This is the same guy who stopped Tim and one of his friends once for driving under uncertain conditions many years ago; the same guy who stopped us last year in the Amelia River for not having running lights on the boat after dark; the same guy who when his father died, both my husband and his brother went to his dad’s viewing.  They actually knew his daddy better than him.  Sometimes it just pays off to have good friends.  You get to know their children well, too.  But honestly, how many times is he going to let us off the hook?

After we ran out of social amenities, I pulled down my sunglasses and peered at him over the top and gave him a look  like he was one of my grandkids about to get in trouble and just plain-out asked, “Are you going to give me a warning?” and he said, “No ma’am, not this time.  But no more running those red lights, okay?” and I cheerily said yes and promised I would never do it again, thank you, thank you, thank you!

When I got home, the first thing I did was pop a beer and jump in the pool and jump around with joy.  I was so relieved I hadn’t gotten a ticket.  I haven’t had a ticket in years!  (Knock wood).

 It was a good experience for me all the same.  Don’t take your driving for granted and don’t take your friends for granted.  Both of them could hurt you if you’re not nice.

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