Archive for June, 2012

One Crazy Day

I’ve got a lot to say about this past week.  I don’t even know where to start.  It’s been half good, half bad, and mostly kooking crazy.

First, my husband retired effective today.  He’s out mowing the lawn and I’m in here waiting on one of the foresters to send me yet another authorization that requires all my thinking processes.  It’s nearing 3:00 in the afternoon and the hard drive in my brain is seriously crashing.

Second, one of the guys at work, whom I am so fond of, got promoted and he and his lovely wife are leaving for Ohio.   Dumping us.  Leaving.  Vaya con Dios, suckers.  I certainly don’t blame him.  It’s just that we’re going to miss him so much.

To honor him on his last day, our group took him to Longhorn’s for lunch.  That went pretty well, I think.  We didn’t get to stay long enough because we all had to get back to work.  So we said our goodbyes, and I know I’ll see him again, and I do wish him well.  I got in my car and shed my tears, wiped my eyes and headed to Sam’s.  I mean, while I’m on the northside, I might as well go pick up a few things on my roundabout way home, right?  I do have to pick up beer and refreshments to celebrate hubby’s retirement after all.

I get thru the door of Sam’s and about 50 feet ahead of me I see my in-laws.  Their back is to me but I recognized them both immediately.  They are intently studying the Ever Ready Battery selection.  I know I should say hello, I love them dearly, but I’m on a mission and I have to get my tail home so I can get back online and get back to work!  I hung a quick left and shot off toward the back of the store.  My pa- in-law can talk the handle off a pump and drain the well dry while he’s at it.  I’m in a hurry.

I immediately recognize a big dilemma though. I’m buying beer!  What if I run into them?  I mean, I know they know we drink beer, but jeez…I hate getting caught buying it.  I must watch for them.  Were they going in or out?  I grab a few items, throw them in my cart and head to the front of the store.  OMG! They are about two feet from the battery section!  How long does it take to make a decision about batteries?  But the cart is empty so I know they’re coming in.  Good.  I hurdle my cart back to the beer department and sling a case into it and dart back to the front.  They are slowly making their way towards…which dang aisle?  I can’t tell.  So I pick up my phone and start talking to it.  While I’m conversing with my phone I discreetly view, well, hell, there wasn’t nothing discreet about it; I’m going along the shelves trying to find them thru the reams of copy paper, calculator rolls, etc.,  I know I look foolish but I really don’t care.  I get to the end of the aisle and look around the corner, and…they’re gone.  Huh?  Where did they go?  I dash to the register.  Throw my stuff up on it all the while looking around for them.  Here it is, my beer, out in the open, big as life on the roller thingy now…please let them be headed towards the back of the store. I’m mentally saying, “Hurry! Hurry!” to the cashier as she slowly rings up the stuff of the lady in front me.  The cashier stops.  One of the shirts has no price tag.  It takes another 3-4 minutes to get that crap straightened out.  Did I mention I had to pee the instant I hit the store? 

I get thru the line and am headed towards the exit and I look to my right and I’ll just be darned if I don’t see the guy who’s leaving for Ohio strolling towards me looking to the left down an aisle – probably looking for his wife!  Did he see me? I don’t know.  I literally RAN towards the exit.  The guy checking the receipts says, “Looks like you’re in a hurry!” and I bleated, “Yes!” and he marked my receipt and hollered, “Be careful now!” as I tore out the door headed to the liquor department.  It wasn’t like I didn’t want to see my friend; it was just that I HAD TO GET OUT OF THE STORE.

The liquor department door is blocked by an incredibly full cart of groceries with two equally incredibly big women standing inside the door examining a bottle of Jim Beam.  I literally pushed their cart over and bullied my way through and went inside.  I heard them mutter something about “that white honky” behind me but I didn’t care. I bought what I needed and headed out.  People were leaping like sheep out of my way; I must have looked that determined.

I could not find my car.  I’m standing in the parking lot jamming the emergency button on my key fob hoping for one tiny beep of a horn and I cannot find my car.  I pushed that dang cart back and forth four times before I found it.  By the time I got into inside and started it, I was laughing hysterically thinking what I must have looked like the past several minutes!

I jump on 295 and tear down the highway towards home.  I pass Dunn Avenue thinking it’d be quicker to take the back way down Old Kings and immediately have to slam on brakes because there is a huge traffic jam.  I’m stuck there for about ten minutes.  I get a phone call from the chip mill fellow about changing a rate.  I tell him my situation and say I’ll call him back.

I finally get home, get online to work, and there is nothing out there for me to do.  I’m so relieved I feel light-headed.

The whole point of this long story is to say this though…because I know you’re reading it because I sent you my blog address.  What I couldn’t say at the table, what I couldn’t say to your face. I mean, I could, but I was just too far down the table and there was just too much commotion this past week.

Thank you, Tim.  Thank you for how sweet and kind and patient you’ve always been to me even when I’m mean and snarly and over-worked and crazy.  Thank you for being the one man in the office that is a REAL man.  You have always fixed the broken things and cleaned up the dirty stuff.  (I’m thinking the bathroom downstairs in Callahan, LOL).  Thank you for showing me how having faith in the Lord can change your life.  You’ve led me to see how the Lord truly works if you pray and have trust in what He does for you.  Thank you for the humor you’ve always had in the office and how you’ve always made the best out of a difficult situation.  You have a wonderful, beautiful, generous soul and I admire you and your wife and your family so, so much.  I feel like a better person just knowing you all.

I really do wish you the best in Ohio.  I know you’ll do great and I know the people there will love you too.  We will miss you.  I WILL MISS YOU.

Best of luck.  God Bless you and your family.  Big hugs and love.


P.S. Since I have given you access to my blog…I will remind you again that I do get a little carried away sometimes.  Take it all with a grain of salt.  My mouth overruns my brain much of the time.

See ya soon.


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My Husband’s Poem from his Friend at his Retirement Party

Lament to a Leader

Like a library without a book

Like Congress without a crook

Like an athlete without a ball

Like Bogey without Bacall

Like a bride without a groom

Like a custodian without a broom

Like a tourist without a condo

Like a rusty car without Bondo

Like a toilet without a flush

Like Conservative’s without Rush

Like a toothbrush without toothpaste

Like New Jersey without toxic waste

Like a sailor without the navy

Like a biscuit without the gravy

Like a poet without a rhyme

Like Jacksonville without a crime

Like Huddle House without a griddle

Like Bluegrass music without a fiddle

Like Tiger without a putt

Like HBO without smut

Like a burger without an onion

Like a podiatrist without a bunion

Like Ralph Nader without consumers

Like Victoria’s Secret without bloomers

Like a fisherman without a lake

Like maintenance without a break

Like a tire without a rim

Will we be without Tim

Goodbye, Tim                                          written by his friend Harold…

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