You can take me out of the country, but…

The other day I tried amusing myself by being someone I’m not and never will be.  That is a RICH PERSON.  I work on Amelia Island AKA Fernandina Beach, Florida.  There are so many beautiful, quaint, expensive shops to browse through on my lunch time.  So the other day, I drove to the north end of the island down near the Plantation, where all the fancy shops are just to walk around and mingle with the classy folks.  I don’t know what possessed me.

The very first store I walked into was a furniture store inside of a beautifully madeover cottage.  I knew the second I walked in that I was out of my league.  So I pretended to be one of the la-di-da ladies, dahling…told the women sitting behind the beautiful oak desk that I was looking for a lamp for my newly remodeled bedroom.  She took me in over the tops of her eyeglasses and I don’t think she fell for it one bit.  But I browsed anyway.  Holy cow.  I would never pay $250.00 for a stupid lamp.  I looked at them and oohed and awed properly, but no, it’s not quite the one I’m looking for.  Thankfully she doesn’t hang over me, she lets me alone.  I walk towards the back and this is where you pick out the fabric to go on the $2000.00 sofa or couch or loveseat that you pick from the front of the house.  Dear God.  Fabric costs a lot just to cover a piece of furniture.  I sauntered out after a bit and went to this fancy clothing store next door.  Their SALE items didn’t even make it below the $100’s.  I pretended to like a few pieces, even tried on a dress that was really pretty but cut too low for work, so I passed on it.  Talked to Willie the cockatiel in his cage.  I liked him, he kept whistling and he said all kinds of words. 

I then passed over to the Home and Bed Shop.  And here is where I completely messed up.  I found the bed quilt, the shams, the bed skirt and the decorative pillows that I’ve been trying to find for years.  There it was, all made up on a king sized bed.  I walked around and around that bed.  I knew it was way out of my price range.  It was just perfect.  The quilt is  a light sort of Seafoam green and it was just the right texture…not real thick, not real thin.  Very nicely made, you could tell it could be washed many times before wearing out.  Good stuff.  I’ve longed for a new bedroom ensemble for years but just never saw anything that caught my eye.  The other night, the dog was playing like she was digging a hole on top of the spread we have on the bed now and I scolded her.  Tim said, “This old thing?  She can’t hurt it!”  I knew then it was time for something new.  When the hubby notices, it’s time.

The lady who ran the place kindly questioned if I was interested in the price of the whole bed set.  So I said, “Of course, dahling, please do work up a price on the whole thing.”  Meanwhile, I’m melting in the smells of beautiful soaps on the counter and find myself piling several bars up there that I’ll get even if I don’t get the dang rest of it.

Believe it or not, the price was right.  I’d been pricing stuff for years that sort of piqued my interest, but never enough to spend the money.  But this truly was in my price range!  I couldn’t believe it!  Of course, I acted like, “Oh yes, that is definitely a good price, my dearey,” and she started my order.  I could have taken the stuff off the bed, she was all set to package it up for me, but no, I want it brand damn new.  It’ll probably be the last one I buy, haha.  I bought the soap and one of the decorative pillows on the spot.  Another decorative pillow will follow with the order.  All by itself it looks fancy on the bed.

So I sashayed out holding my new bag of goodies and danged it I didn’t near break my neck on a parking stump thingie that you pull up to when you park your car.  Don’t know the correct name, but it’s long and about five inches high and PAINTED BRIGHT BLACK AND YELLOW so you don’t miss it.  I stumbled on that thing and if anyone saw me, they probably thought the woman had thrown me out of the door.  Not to mention that in my fright I bleated, SHIT, WHAT IN HELL WAS THAT?!”  loud enough for my Callahan friends to hear. I turned around and gawped at it as if it had just popped up as I came out the door. So much for trying to make a poised, dainty exit, I blew that all to hell and back.  Aw heck, who am I fooling I thought to myself as I climbed into my dirty HHR that was sitting amongst BMW’s and Mercedes.  My car was probably as uncomfortable as me in those surroundings.  Give me the dirt roads and woods any day.

So maybe I’m not one of those fancy, rich people, I don’t really care.  I have a new look coming to my bedroom for the first time in years and I’m excited about it.  You can take the girl out of the country, but you just can’t take the country out of the girl.


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