Oh Boy, I Love Christmas!!!

I love Christmas.  I really do.  What I really don’t care for though, is all the hassle and stress that comes with it.  We bring this on ourselves!  Or I do on myself anyway.

I went home last night determined to make cookies and banana nut bread.  First I must fix supper.  Hubby has been really great lately about fixing the meals while I’ve been painting like a crazed woman on bottle gourds he grew this past summer.  They finally dried enough to clean up, clean out, soak in copper sulphate, dry again, and get painted.  I worked all weekend on them.  But I’ve not made any cookies or goodies.  I hate to ask him to cook again. 

I absolutely suck at multi-tasking in the kitchen.  I mean it.  It is one thing at a time with me and I want the area halfway cleaned up before I begin my next project.  I won’t even tell you how the supper turned out because I cooked it in a really big hurry – it involved hamburger meat, sweet potatoes and frozen peas.  And buddy by God I said to them, you’d all better hurry up and be ready at the same time!  Because meanwhile, I’m over at the other counter mixing up the bread mix. 

I bought ten adorable little ceramic loaf pans at Michael’s for $1 each!!!  So cute, so Christmasy!  I pulled them lovingly from their bag and placed them on the counter, all lined up pretty ready to be washed.  Oh wait, need to remove the price tags from INSIDE the little dishes, not from the bottom, but the inside!  Where the food sits!  Huh?  Why there?

If I could get my hands around the neck of the blankety blank idiot that stuck the price tag on the inside of the dish with superglue, I would choke him.  (you know it’s a HIM, of course).   I smeared mayonnaise on the tags.  They are big tags too, about two inches, I swear.  Waited a bit.  Tested.  Nothing.  Smeared oil on them- waited – tested.  No moving these tags.  It took the edge of a spoon and all the elbow grease I could muster to get the price tags off the bottom of those dishes.  AND it took over 30 minutes to clean all of them up to use!  I am not kidding.  AND it pissed me off badly.  My patience level is shakey anyway, you know?

Meanwhile, over at the stove, the hamburgers are burning.  Hubby comes in and makes the mistake of saying, “I’m hungry!”  He looks at me and what I’m doing, apparently reads the look of love on my face, finishes the supper stuff, and takes his plate into the living room to eat.  Bless him.  Of course, he doesn’t clean anything up afterwards, but whatever.

I like chopped walnuts in my banana bread.  I look in the cupboards for 10 minutes trying to find my handy-dander chopper.  Finally think I remember it breaking last year.  On purpose?  Or, maybe it has joined the glass lid in the depths of hell somewhere, I don’t know, I couldn’t find it.  Damn!!  So I put the walnuts in a baggie and pound the pure-d crap out of them with my rolling pin.  What is a very simple recipe has turned into a nightmare for me.  I’ve been at this for an hour now and haven’t even started the cookies and the bread takes 45 minutes to bake!  I finally get the batter poured into the dishes and get them into the stove.  The bread loaves are for the guys at work, I need six of them.

I clean up the kitchen, start a load of clothes, finish painting a gourd, take the dog for a walk and check on the bread and it’s doing fine.  Phone rings, my friend Mona and I get into a funny conversation about the past and are wildly laughing like hyenas when it hits me about the bread.  I scream Goodbye to her and run back into the house and pull them out of the oven and they are almost, almost burned.  Almost.  Not quite.  Not if you squint your eyes and look sideways.  They will do. 

I decide the guys will not get my precious little dishes and after they’ve cooled I take them out of the dishes and wrap them in plastic wrap.  I brought them in this morning and I see they’ve all eaten part of them and not died. 

I’m so grateful. 

Now I must start on my Christmas cards.  This ought to be fun too!

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1 Response so far »

  1. 1

    sil said,

    you are too funny!! you are good at multi-tasking…as long as it all goes smooth, can’t have no price stickers stuck on the inside of your pans. I do believe we all tend to get a little pissed at these dumb, time consuming set backs. Ha, go figure, could we all be more on the normal side than we would like to believe?


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