I miss my mom


The other day I was sitting in the dermatologist’s office – being a Baby Boomer living in Florida, I get myself checked out once a year.   I’ve not only burned myself a million times, my mom burned me up very bad when we first moved to Florida from Maine.  There were all those Coppertone Baby highway posters of that little blonde girl with the doggy pulling down the back of her bathingsuit bottom that was just so cute!  Well, I was little and blonde and she wanted me to look like her.  All brown with a white butt.  She took us all to the beach and back then, sunscreen was not available on the CVS shelves like they are now.  Heck, no one was getting melanoma!  At least, it wasn’t being advertised!  I played in the sun all day and got burned and very sick; so much so that she had to take me to the doctor, who gave her grief about letting me get so sunburned.  Now…I go to the dermatologist religiously.   

Anyway, I’m sitting in the office and I’m waiting my turn along with these two other people.  They were older than me by far, probably in their seventies.  They’re sitting in their chairs discussing the magazine they are reading.  He gets up to go use the bathroom.  The assistant comes out and calls his name and the wife says, “He is using the bathroom.”  He eventually comes out and she tells him they are looking for him.  He goes to the counter and says he is back and they ask his last name and he looks at his wife and says, “What is our last name?”  She tells him, he tells the assistant, and back to the good doctor he goes. 

I’m sitting there absorbing this.  I realize that this is where we go when we get old, IF we’re lucky enough to stay together to get to this point.  

The thing I notice most is how the old woman smells.  She’s an attractive enough old woman, we should all be so lucky to look like her in our 70’s.  SHE SMELLS LIKE MY MOM.  She is wearing Estee Lauder’s ‘Youth Dew’ and I badly want to get up and sit closer to her.  I want to hug this woman and tell her I love her.  This has happened to me so many times.  I can be in a grocery store and catch that scent and I will track it down to see who is wearing it.  Once it was an older black woman ahead of me in the aisle picking out meats.  I know that I stared at her enough to make her look at me and how can I explain that I smell my mom and you make me think of her?  Please may I hug you? 

At the doctor’s office though, I’m flipping thru my magazine…I’m breathing in deep so that I can smell my mom and I close my eyes and I think of her and it makes me feel really good…this scent.  I can feel my mom next to me and wonder if it is God’s way of letting me know that my mom is thinking of me.  My mom whose body is six feet under, but her spirit and her soul are with me. 

When Mom died and we all had to go through her belongings and dispose, share, give away all her things – the one thing I knew for sure that I was going to keep was her powder box of Youth Dew.  I still have it in my top drawer.  I took one of her blue silk blouses and put it in my cedar chest and I dusted the blouse with the powder and wrapped it in blue paper to preserve it. 

To this day, when I really am missing my Mom, I will open the chest, pull out the blouse and smell my Mom.  If the scent gets weak, I dust it more with the powder. 

My brother Lester is the same way.  He also thinks of her when he catches that fragrance on someone.  He said once, right after she’d died, that he was lying in bed and thought he heard her footsteps going down the hall  to the bathroom.  I don’t know what he wanted me to say, but I said, “Maybe she needed to pee?” and we both fell out laughing.  We chuckle about it in a sad way, but both of us make each other feel better talking about her. 

That is how God lets us know that Mom is still here, she is still our Mom, and I’ll bet you that she still carries that scent with her in Heaven. 

It is very, very hard to lose the one person who thought you hung the moon, could do no wrong, and believed you to be the best thing ever created.  She thought that of all her children. 

I miss you Mom.  WE miss you.  And we will see each other again.  Isn’t that just the most wonderful thing the Lord has given us??  WE WILL MEET AGAIN.


6 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Lester said,

    sitting here with tears running down my face this is beautiful

    • 2

      Doe said,

      Gee, thanks Les. You saying that made my eyes tear up. LOL Love you.

      • 3

        Connie said,

        And here I sit at 1:53 am reading your story about Mom. It’s makes me cry I miss her so much. Especially now. What I would give to have her sitting here, leaning on the table with one elbow, telling her stories of growing up in Maine and of family members long past. Smell is such a strong emotion, but I don’t have that with people who I have lost, instead I actually feel them wrap around me at the oddest times. It stops me dead in my tracks and I savor the warmth and want to reach out and touch them and say I love you. Starr and Kim both smell Mom and Brian (remember how good that Obsession smelled on him?) Starrr can smell my mother as well. My Mother smelled of soft roses and she would sit swing Starr when she was very small. That’s what she remembers of her grandmother and even to this day, she hangs small bags of soft rose scent in her closets to capture that smell. You are so right, my dearest Doe, I long to hold them in heaven, just to touch them and feel them hold me again. It is something I to look forward to doing.

  2. 4

    Doe said,

    I am crying for sure now. I know just how you and Starr both feel. Wow. Mom’s been gone 9 days today (September 8). Hard to believe. Love you all.

    • 5

      sharon said,

      A week later….I finally check to see what’s bloggin’ while I’m breaking for lunch, what a lovely heartwarming thoughts you all have written. Now I know what has been up with all the rain, it is tears from Heaven. No way could anyone in Heaven or on earth could read this and not tear up. It’s really funny what, when and where something can trigger the memories of a loved one. Such good wonderful memories.

      I’m so lucky to have met Dana. I fell in love with not only him, but everyone in his wonderful family.

  3. 6

    Otto said,

    A wonderful, tender acknowledgement of your mom, and a thank you to God.
    Thank you for sharing and filling my eyes with tears of joy, compassion and remembrance.

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